Two Fathers

Happy New Year From Clan!

From Drop Box

I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus.

Immersion

A Return to Biblical Marriage

I dug this up after reading about it at Daddy Pappa, and Me. Though the original article (reprinted below) was posted on the Boston Phoenix five years ago, it's quite appropriate for today. Yeah, I think I support this; if we are going to insist on Biblical marriage, let's do it up right.

BIBLICAL SENSE
Making marriage religious
BY MARY-ANN GREANIER

Since the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled last week that same-sex couples should be allowed to wed, many commentators have reiterated their belief that gay and lesbian couples should be excluded from marriage for religious reasons. But why stop there? If marriages recognized by the Commonwealth must be based on biblical principles, then it’s clear more changes to the law are needed. Below are seven suggested amendments to the Massachusetts Constitution that would bring Bay State family law in line with the Bible.

• Because Jacob and David each had more than one wife, marriage in Massachusetts shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women of his choosing (II Sam. 3:2-5; Gen. 29:17-28).

• A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is found not to be a virgin, "they shall take her to the door of her father’s house and her fellow citizens shall stone her to death" (Deut. 22:13-21). (Here, Governor Romney’s resurrection of the death penalty will come in handy.)

• As Rehoboam, David, and Solomon all possessed concubines, a married man in Massachusetts shall also have the right to keep concubines in addition to his wife or wives (I Kings 11:3; II Sam. 5:13; II Chron. 11:21).

• When Moses said, "Every one of you must put to death those of his people who have committed themselves to the Baal of Peor," he was forbidding the marriage of a believer to a nonbeliever (Gen. 24:3; Neh. 10:30).

• Christ said, "What God has united, man must not divide." Therefore, neither the Constitution nor any state law of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts shall permit divorce (Deut. 22:19; Mark 10:9-12).

• If a married man dies childless, the widow must not marry a stranger outside of the family. Instead, the dead man’s brother must marry the widow. If the brother refuses to marry the widow or refuses to give her children, the law shall fine him one sandal, and he will be forced to go about wearing one sandal for the rest of his days, and he shall be called the Unshod One of Massachusetts (Deut. 25:5-10; Gen. 38:6-10).

• If there are no acceptable men to be found in the town, a woman shall ply her father with wine and have sex with him in order to produce progeny to carry on the family name (Gen. 19:31-36).

Barack is "No Stranger to Love." I don't remember seeing this at the NRC

My youngest son found this on Youtube and emailed it to me today along with something called the Mean Kitty video (that beast looks amazingly like our cat!) Now maybe I'm just biased and overly proud, but do many 12 year-olds dig up political satire on the net or is he as unique as he seems to be to me?

Is it OK to Be Gay... in Northern Ireland?

Recently our own Vincent, co-manager of GayFatherhood was featured on the BBC One broadcast Spotlight. The topic of the thirty minute show was "Is it OK to Be Gay... in Northern Ireland?" Vince is featured in most of the first ten minutes or so of the video, so whether you know and love him like I do or are just getting to meet Vince, please enjoy.

Shame on Proposition 8 Supporters

I just wanted to mention that our friends and fellow bloggers over at GuyDads have been posting various lists of supporters of Prop 8 in their area of California. I hope you'll take a look and dig into the further links they have there in case there are any businesses you wish to boycott.

I suggest not only boycotting, but contacting the businesses in question to ask them why they expect your business when they are involved in the business of taking away your rights.

Thanks, guys!

And Another Thing...

How's that for an overused subject heading? Okay, the bird is in the roaster and I have sweet potatoes, smashed potatoes with manchego (sp?) cheese (thank you, Rachel Ray), baked corn, buttermilk biscuits and such to make yet. Brian baked apple and pumpkin pies; I made my cranberry orange relish and of course, mamma's famous stuffing.

So I hope you are enjoying some time with your family or friends and counting your blessings today. And you don't have to be in the U.S. to spend the day feasting and drinking up the good life; I hope you have a blessed day to be thankful for, wherever you are.

Okay, as much as I want to obsess over the RSS feed for this blog and linking it to the new home pages which are set to launch in less than a week, my sons are on their way and I have some work to do. So for today I thought I'd just pass on this clip of an added response regarding the previous post. Thanks for your kind replies, by the way.

Okay, back to basting and sipping (brandy, orange liquor and baily's in my coffee... yum!) Have a great day!

Your Friend in Fatherhood,
David, Son of Walt

I may respond just a little bit yet to what's already been said, but for now let me mention a pet peeve of mine that showed in "David's" (I still think it's cowardly to use your wife's profile to reply, not to mention confusing) response. Why is it that straight people get to have a LIFE when all I get to have is a Lifestyle.

And I wonder, which part of my life is only a style? Is it the parent teacher conferences I am going to today at my children's school? Or perhaps it's the Bible study I am attending tonight? Is it the way I cut my lawn or how we write our mortgage check? Is it perhaps the way we pay our property tax? Or maybe how I worry that I haven't called my dad lately and when can I go visit my sister. Maybe it was something about how I went to work yesterday and will go back tomorrow and earn my living, try to budget for Christmas presents and maybe a drink with friends after work.

Silly me, I just can't figure it out. I thought I had a life. But then again, maybe you straight right winged Christians just cannot keep your mind off my genitals and where they've been that you cannot seem to notice that my life is just like yours except for the way I have sex.

My Response to a Misguided Bigot

First I want to say that I know of Christians who truly are godly and kind. There are too few of them, I admit. But they exist. They are far from perfect and they know it, and some of them honestly believe the same things I was taught for years, that homosexuals are bound for hell. Those truly godly people are concerned and pray for my soul. I thank them, and welcome discussion with them so that they might come to understand things differently, and know that the book is not so easily divided into black and white.

Hm... black and white. It seems that once in this nation there was a belief in dividing the world into black and white, and scripture was misused for that purpose. But even then perhaps there were those sincere few who struggled to understand. Would that more of them talked with us, and not so many of these know-it-all "culture war" church goers.

I responded to someone in a friend's myspace blog this evening. I do not believe that this person was a sincere lover of God or seeker of truth. And I don't think I need to post her response to my friend for you to understand my reply to her. I think it stands on it's own alright. And I am tired of having to justify myself to people who take no time or bother to research and learn and discern the truth for themselves.

Mark Twain is credited with saying that if Jesus were alive today, one thing he would surely not be is a "Christian." Why? Because the majority of Christians in Twain's time were as arrogant, judgmental and hypocritical as they are in this time. I have no problems with God, or with his son Jesus (who by the way never once mentions the issue of homosexuality). It's people like you who take a very small handful of scriptures out of context and clobber other people with them.

You would have me believe that to have sex with a man is an "abomination" because it says so in Leviticus. Interesting, because earlier in that same book (Leviticus 10:10-12, look it up yourself, I'm tired of doing homework for you people) it says that eating anything in the sea that has neither fins nor gills is an abomination. Yet, I don't see you guys out protesting in front of Red Lobster! Don't you get it, God Hates Shrimp, man!

Why do you eat it anyway? Because you pick and choose which scriptures are for today and which were for yesterday, and you only abide by the ones that personally make sense to you. You want to take on the other scriptures in that book that you claim have something to do with my relationship to my partner of ten years? Bring it on. I'll discuss each one in detail with you.

And while we are at it why are you trying to teach anything to us men? In the book of Timothy Paul said, "But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet." So obey the Bible and shut up, especially when you do not know what you are talking about. Your profile says you are a 32 year old female.

You claim to believe the Bible as the word of God but you pick and choose what you will obey and what you don't. Praying without head coverings? Eating Pork? Teaching a Sunday School Class in which men are present? Can a woman do any of these things, you ask? Of course she can! Because these were cultural taboos, NOT moral taboos.

And that's exactly what I am saying. The plumbing may not fit, but it doesn't matter. Why not insist that since a man has a penis he has no moral right to be single? He has a dick and it is made to fit into a specific place. How DARE he go against God's will and refuse to stick it in a woman's vagina? After all we were commanded in Genesis to be fruitful and multiply. So even the apostle Paul, who remained single, was outright disobeying God's order, right?

You see, I can twist and malign the words of the good book as easily as any half-baked Christian can. You need to learn to read the book in it's cultural context and understand that the bottom line of all of it is love. I don't think you know much about love.

You certainly don't know much about being gay. I can tell you it's no choice. I tried for over a decade to choose not to be gay. But it doesn't work. I challenge you to point out to me not only the verse in the Bible that you claim exists where it says it's a choice, but also to tell me when you chose to be straight. If it was a choice for me, then it had to be a choice for you too. Tell me when was it that you woke up and thought, you know what I'm going to be attracted to the opposite sex, instead of my own.

And one last thing, Jesus wants you to learn how to spell. No, I'm not kidding. Paul said, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." Which reminds me, while you folk say "love the sinner, not the sin" you fail to see that the sin is not an act we do but a way in which we are wired, a part of our personality. And no, it's is not about perversion, it is about love, and how it is expressed. Get your mind off my genitals and keep an eye on your own, please. I think we have enough on our hands just keeping ourselves honest and pure without pointing to others.

And face it, you were not prepared. Honey, a mistake or two, a spelling error, a misplaced modifier, even the subject/object disagreement is fine now and then. It only proves that the the writer is a human being and fallible. But your writings are so full of errors, typos and horrific sentence structure that I have to point out how once again you are disobeying God's Word and not being "prepared to give an answer."

Now, please go get your own life straightened out and leave me and mine alone.

"Why Can't My Daddies Get Married?"

I don't know who these guys are in the first picture there to the right in the slide show, but I love the message, so I thought I'd include them on the blog this week. This picture was part of a recent gay right-to-marry protest in NYC. The picture is from the work of photographer Sion Fulluna. You can see more of his work on Flicker here.

The other pictures struck me as so similar to hills of Northern Ireland where my beloved friends Vincent and David live, so I checked it out. It's from the Hope Bothy by Venture Scotland, a sort of conservation group as best I can tell at first glance. Though they may not specifically be gay, I like their diverse approach (from their About Us page.

The organization offers an inclusive approach to working on personal development, through a unique and successful volunteer and user-led programme.

At Venture Scotland we work to create an unequaled culture of respect, transparency, challenge and support in order to facilitate a significant 'step in the right direction' for all - participants, volunteers and staff alike.

Tomorrow I'll be posting a video recently seen on BBC One that asks the question, "Is is good to be gay in Northern Ireland." The piece among others features our own Vincent, a gentle giant of an activist (my words, not his own), and a little bit of his story.

From the Mind of a Fifteen Year Old

Leaving the little country store tonight, with our bag of fried chicken in hand, his ear phones draped down from the sides of his Zack Efron hair, I turn and notice a far away, serious look in his eyes.

Me: (Concerned) What are you thinking?

Him: (With barely a hesitation) Who would win in a fight, Sheryl Crow or Celine Dion?

Me: (Raised eyebrows turned in toward each other)

Him: Well, if you don't want to know don't ask!

Me: (After a moment) Sheryl Crow. Definitely Sheryl Crow. (Long pause in the car). But then I bet that Celine has some serious claws and could be really vicious in a cat fight.

Him: Yeah.

That's right folks, my sons and I are not afraid to talk about the deep stuff.

We had a small but cheery group in the chat room today. Thanks to those of you who joined in, Billy, John and UKC.

We're looking forward to seeing more of ya'll next week. I'll post times.

Hope you're all having a great Tuesday!

David

GayFatherhood.com Welcomes Clay Aiken

Okay, so he hasn't exactly applied for membership to our community yet, but he has joined the ranks of out gay dads. And while we may not be surprised about his coming out (though I personally knew nothing about his foray into fatherhood before now; I'm just not up on celebrity news), and regardless of whether or not you are a fan, you've got to have some respect for him for saying this:

"I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that..."

'Atta boy, Clay. Integrity is what it's all about. We can't raise them to be honest and true to themselves if we cannot be also. And so while I never watched the season of American Idol on which you were the winner, and I couldn't name one song you've sung since, I applaud you for your honesty in the face of what may be said by some of those "born again" fans and family members.

Best wishes to you and your family, Clay.

For the rest of the story, go to People.com

For more about Gay Fathers in general and to meet some of the best dads on earth go to GayFatherhood.com

Signing up for School Clubs

Jonathan (15) wanted to sign up for Genius Club, until he discovered that it was actually a religious group called Genesis Club.

Cracked me up.

If Life Were a Beach...

The Beach was O.K.


Well, it was way better than O.K. and the company was good.



We met the King of the Surf:



And enjoyed a lovely sunset.



Played frizbee in the dark...



Got lost at sea on a "Three Hour Tour..."



And came home without feeling too crabby (yes, that's a little crab the Monkey is holding).



And we can't wait to go again!

Dancing, Groceries, Birthday Cards and the "Semi-Christ"

Oh, the work hours lately. I guess I shouldn't complain, since the folks I'm working with have been working short-staffed for some time before I came along. But they barely got me trained before one of our managers went in for back surgery! So they are still working six days a week and very long days. And now I'm in it with them. I had it soooo easy at the other restaurant in comparison. But at least there is little or no personal stress between staff members at the new place.

That first paragraph is by way of explanation of my recent absence and a thanks for your patience. I cringe when I find myself writing the tired old post that starts with, "Sorry I haven't updated in a while!"

So today these three guys and I,



after I spent way too much money and time trying to save a penny or two on groceries, and then completely misplacing some birthday cards I bought, went to visit this guy (the silver-haired handsome one who coincidentally looks a lot like me):



to which him a happy 75th birthday. His actual birthday was three days ago on March 3rd (which made it almost a compliment when Jonathan told him he didn't look a day over 75). Yes, folks, 3/3/33' that's the magic date, and the reason why we call him the Semi-Christ. Interesting pseudonym for a former baptist missionary. But I suppose I'm not your everyday former theology student either.

We had a wonderful time, and ate grandma out of house and home. Josiah and his brothers razzed me about leaving and forgetting to take Dad's birthday cards. We had to stop in this tiny little town and find some new ones at this tiny country store where the poor guy in front of me in line had to keep asking to put another article back on the shelf since he didn't have enough money. Makes me see my own budget crunch in a better light.

Micah was hyper today and kept telling the punch lines to jokes totally out of context, which cracked his confused grandparents up repeatedly. When Esther asked him what he was talking about once, he replied quoting my previous admonishment, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm telling jokes out of context again!"

Oh, and he got in trouble today in school. For dancing at lunch. Yes. Dancing.

I am pleased. It could have been drugs or violence, right? I can handle a discipline report over dancing at lunch. Hell, I was always too depressed at lunch to even tap a toe. So they must be feeding him well.

Looking at Dad and how happy and healthy he is out on that farm with his cows and freezer full of venison, looking at the guy buying bread and milk in the country store, and reading about the serious infraction in the lunch room... Well, it's no wonder I am sitting back tonight, soaking my feet, sipping a little brandy and thinking about how sometimes it's all about perspective.

Weekend Chats

Join us, won't you? We'll be having a couple of Chats this weekend in our Chat Room. I'll be hosting Friday night, February 29th at 9 PM and Handsome will be hosting Saturday at a time yet to be announced.

Please Join us! And come visit the whole group of us at GayFatherhood.com!